You're completely useless in the revolution.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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