By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
