god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
