Ambien. No doubt about it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
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