At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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