My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
