Don't make out with my wife yet
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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