I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
