It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize