It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
