I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
