If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
