careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
