Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
