he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
