Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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