Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
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