well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
