FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Why is there bacon in the couch?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
