My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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