well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
