I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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