sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
