I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
