yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
