Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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