thus making me awesome and them whores
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
