so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
