I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
