im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Sponge bath it is.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he told me I talked like a deaf person
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
