ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
