is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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