She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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