My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
