the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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