So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
