apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My life is pants optional.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize