It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My dick has a subreddit
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
