Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
