it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
