Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
