I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
