Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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