At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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