Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The air was thick with penises
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
