I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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