and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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