It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
last night I used snow as a chaser
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