I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
