Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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