I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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