Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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