it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
