one two three fourrrrnication!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
