I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
