finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
