Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
