woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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